Journal

Time to Do More…

2019 was a utter failure for me. Not from a bureaucratic perspective but personally. I felt fulfilled and empty, like I wasn't living. Now the doubt won't hold me back.

It feels like 2019 was a complete waste for me. When I write all the things I got out of it career wise, the narrative tells a different story, but for me, it felt like a missed opportunity. I felt like I could have done more and, at the very least, created more.

When I was a kid, I used to create all the time. I remember I would open up PowerPoint and create animations using the ‘Dupilate slide’ and ‘.25secs’ per a slide function to create music videos and short films. I would write music with my guitar and record it, sharing it with my friends, or I would go to the park and shoot videos with my friends, coming home and staying up all night editing them. Them days didn’t feel wasted but 2019 did.

I’m not 100% sure as to why I feel this way. I mean, I got my Graduate Diploma in Communication (Public Relations) from the University of South Australia, started building my first home in Mt Barker South Australia, and assisted with the roll-out of a major systems upgrade for a major company. But I still feel unfulfilled by it all because, and here’s my theory, I wasn’t creating on my own terms. I didn’t blog much, didn’t film much and didn’t make any wacky PowerPoint animations. I just kind of existed… and that’s not enough for me.

I’m inspired by few people in the world, and even though a lot of them turn out to be fake, one person I truly admire is Casey Neistat. Casey is a YouTuber who lives by the mantra of ‘Do More’ – he’s even got a fricken tattoo of the words. Now, I’m not inspired to copy Casey and start up a Daily Youtube Vlog but I am inspired by his self discipline, his commitment to his goals. The attitude of choosing to pass out from exhaustion in a taxi because you have worked yourself to the core only to be ready to jump into a new project the movement the taxi stops.

I’m a perfectionist (in some ways) and worry that what I create. I have a fear that it will not be good enough, or be riddled with mistakes that will embarrass me – aka this blog. When I write something with a typo, people come at me with ‘…and you call yourself a Journalist’ and it really gets to me. But I’ve released something, I control what gets to me and decide what won’t. As long as I learn from mistakes, I won’t be hindered by them.

So I have a plan, this year I’ll do more, create more mistakes and take steps to being fulfilled. If people aren’t taking jabs, I’m not working hard enough to create.

So you’re going to see a lot more crap from me posted here. Unpolished, typo filled dribble. Some of the content won’t work and some will be cringe worthy, but that’s okay. I’m not going to stop. I’m going to create whether I get mocked or not… even if I know it’s not perfect I’m going to publish.

I’m going to ‘Do More’.

Feature Image: Lisa Schulte, “Do More.

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